Category Archives: by Mirukeu

Just me and Sogs

Preface: Mind you, I already know Sogs is avoiding Yogi, me, and our friend because we stay up late watching old Masterchef episodes and he always comes out of his room when no one else is around – be it at 11PM or 1AM depending on when we leave the living room. It’s kind of weird that it’s come to this point that he would rather avoid walking through the living room to get to the kitchen and eat or to go to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I wonder if he is doing is consciously (as I wonder about a lot of the things he does).

So when Yogi left the house for the rest of the month, it left me and Sogs alone.

Context: So, it’s notable that prior to Yogi’s departure, our sink had clogged once and we called our landlord and he sent his friend over to fix it. It was fixed, but while we were out for Yogi’s farewell dinner, Sogs texted us telling that the sink was clogged once more.

When we came home, Yogi saw the sink was not clogged. I checked too and it was fine. We even ran some water to test it out and it was fine.

So I told Sogs that I wasn’t comfortable explaining some nonexistent problem to an actual plumber and asked him to arrange it for a time he would be home. He responded to that by cancelling the plumber visit. After the conversation, I was informed I was being a bit savage. In all honesty, it wasn’t my intention – but being as I am, I was wracked with guilt. I mean, I recognize that I could’ve been nicer. But I’m 99% sure he got the hint that I harbour hatred towards him from that interaction (I hadn’t spoken a word to him since he got home, and he’s been home for approximately a month, I never make eye contact, and my brain honestly doesn’t store memories of his face so I don’t actually remember seeing his face if I do look at it, in retrospect – since he’s come home).

Day 1: Yogi hadn’t left yet, but she wasn’t in the kitchen when I entered in the morning to discover the sink was, indeed, clogged.

However, when I saw Yogi later, she informed me that when she was having breakfast, the sink was fine and she’d managed to wash her dishes, too. But when she left the kitchen and returned a while later, Sogs was in the kitchen and the sink was clogged.

Now, I’m not trying to suggest anything but there’s strong correlative evidence there.

Anyway, I had too much pride to admit he was right. I went out for a bit, came back, and the sink was fine again. I poured a bit of hot water and vinegar down it, following the advice of a friend.

I left for the rest of the afternoon.

When I returned, the sink was full of murky water, to the brim – like Sogs decided to do his dishes (not that he washes dishes… or anything really… he just sticks it all in the dishwasher and turns the dishwasher on and then puts everything back when it’s done… even if it’s still dirty…) and then didn’t notice that the sink filled up.

This spawned the theory that Sogs had done it on purpose to spite me and tbh I have no intention of mentioning anything because I know I can’t speak to him nicely (my patience has run out) and I’d like to save us both the trouble and the pain. Also, I wouldn’t put it past him to be that petty – to try to hurt me at the expense of hurting himself, too (he’s affected by the sink too, and to be honest, it’s only after he uses it that it becomes clogged anyway).

Day 2: I come home and our recycling box is gone. It strikes me for a moment that perhaps Sogs took out the recycling, saw the Parmesan, and, in a fit of rage, threw the box out too.

But he didn’t.

In fact, he left the stove on to boil water while he left the house. A very responsible, adult thing to do.

He returned with the box a while later. I think he saw the Parmesan. Perhaps his hatred for me has increased. Rest assured, Sogs, it wasn’t me, personally, who threw the Parmesan in there.

Again, though, still avoiding my friend and me. After my friend left, I went to shower and Sogs went to the kitchen to eat dinner at 10PM. He tried to do it really fast too because I think he rushed to finish, etc., when he realized I got out of the shower.

Just another two weeks or so of this and I’ll be in the clear.

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The Turning Point

There’s a moment we keep going back to, reflecting on how truly fucked up our relationship with Soggy was.

The particular incident in question happened early this year.

Yogurt and I wanted to go out for dinner mainly because there was no rice at home and anything we wanted to make that night would’ve required rice as a side.

As a bit of background, when we’d first started living together, potatoes were a staple side to our meals as a carb but as time went on, we shifted more towards rice (which was natural for me, because I come from a household that eats rice everyday, if not for every meal).

So, as the kind roommates we were, we invited Soggy to come out with us and he reacted by opening the fridge and exclaiming, “We have so much food at home!”

To which I responded, “No, but we don’t have rice.”

“So? We have potatoes!” he said, clearly exasperated at the fact that I didn’t want to eat at home because there was no rice.

As a last ditch attempt at trying to get him to understand where I was coming from, I said, “We don’t have any rice at home and I want to eat rice for dinner because I’m Asian.”

And how did the soggy one respond, you ask?

“Well, I’m not Asian but I eat rice every night!”

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You ate rice every night because we cooked for you every night. And you can’t even find it in yourself to respect or understand the fact that I didn’t want to cook that night because there wasn’t any rice left. Not to even mention the fact that your answer was a complete non-sequitur in response to what I was trying to argue.

I didn’t realize it then because in that moment, I was just caught up in the fact that I was starting to feel bad for even wanting to go out in the first place since Soggy started saying how we were all going out a lot and spending a lot of money – even though a part of me was thinking, You don’t have to go, we aren’t forcing you.

I felt so bad, though, that I tried for a compromise (which was a mistake, but this was before I truly understood how much Soggy was actually using me for food), trying to say, “Okay, maybe we can make something with the potatoes…” (because Soggy was so caught up on the fact that we had potatoes)

Even though, really, what I should have done was just walked out the door with Yogurt because fuck you for making me feel bad for not wanting to cook for your ass. It wasn’t even your money we were going to spend on food for us. It wasn’t your time. You were making us stay at home because you couldn’t feed yourself without us.

And that was the really fucked up part – that we stayed home that night to cook for you and that you made me stay at home out of guilt because you needed us to cook for you.

I cooked curry that night, while he sat in his room and did his work, contributing nothing to the meal, as usual, but an empty stomach.

But, of course, he did say, at the end, “Thanks, girls. It was good.”

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A Comprehensive List of Things Thrown Out

1.) Zucchini: this wasn’t thrown out as much as it was washed down the sink. Because who knew that a zucchini left in the fridge in a pool of water for three months would become a nest for maggots that disintegrated upon water impact? Not the soggy roommate!

2.) Parmesan: this should have been refrigerated after opening but it was left in our cabinet for roughly eight months before any of us realized that it had actually expired in January. It was thrown out mid May, mostly in the heat of the moment as we realized that it had gone bad four months ago. It flew into the recycling bin, without the knowledge of the soggy one. In fact, he was still steadily consuming it post-expiration, post-non refrigeration. Did you know that Parmesan is not supposed to be yellow? Neither did the soggy roommate.

3.) Ground beef: it was on special so it was already going bad when it was bought. It was sitting in the fridge for maybe five days before it was actually used to make anything. By the time one week rolled around, it had been exposed to open air (because God forbid the soggy roommate would actually wrap it up in Saran Wrap to at least make some effort towards saving it – even though he will claim that he did but you don’t leave meat open in the fridge and the original wrapping it comes in does not count) and was starting to turn pink and brown. I reminded him meat doesn’t keep in the fridge for that long, to which he responded, “I know.” But if he did, we wouldn’t be here.

4.) Mayo: two huge jars of mayo sat in our cabinet when they’d expired in November. They were only thrown out by the soggy roommate mid May after being reminded approximately three times to take care of it. The first time we asked him to look at his things in the cabinet to throw out, he made a half-assed effort to only throw out an opened RealLemon Juice while keeping most of his expired things that we were actually concerned about in the pantry. Apparently it’s so hard to part with expired mayo? We told him a second time when he told him to take out the trash (because he basically didn’t the whole semester) and he only took out the trash. The third time, I just straight up told him to his face because he’s an infant who needs to be spoken to directly before anything actually registers in his head as something he should really do. They were gone the next day. It was a revelation.

5.) Tomato sauce: this was opened and covered in Saran Wrap but not even Saran Wrap could save it from blackening after being pushed to the back of the fridge and sitting there for about a week before we noticed. We took the liberty to throw it out because re: blackening.

The only pity is that, of all the gross things thrown out, he isn’t aware that half of them happened because he isn’t aware that most of the things he puts in his body is actually expired.

-Mirukeu x

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